I have spent innumerable hours in meetings and do what ever I can to avoid talking and leading meetings. People know that the best way to get my opinion is to ask and people tend to listen if I am forced to participate. I tell people I am a voracious note taker and bring my laboratory notebook to meetings as part of my work product and document history. Thus I can ‘focus’ on the notes and synthesize data later. Now unfortunately I am *forced* to lead meetings and will need to call future meetings and resolve issues as well as making decisions. That said, I guess I am pretty institutionalized and desensitized to meetings, agendas and the drudgery of academia replete with endless hours of meeting minutia.

That experience does not however preclude me from being impressed by the skill of others who have truly mastered the art of verbal mysticism in the setting of a meeting. I was once privileged to be involved in a highly technical and confidential meeting concerning finances and drug development involving a large pharmaceutical company and some academic researchers who might work with the company’s drugs.

Obviously I cannot disclose the company or the drugs, so forgive me for being cryptic. In the meeting a very poignant question was asked of the drug company executive. The question was one that would normally make company executives squirm because a complete answer would require disclosing company plans and expenses, which they will not wish to provide. In such a case the typical strategy for responding would be; to answer a different question, state that some things are confidential, deny having the authority to disclose, deny having knowledge of the subject etc. If you watch politicians on TV they will do that for many questions. Watch for phrases like, “The issue is not what you asked but rather … this other issue.” And they answer that question.

Well after years of meetings I thought I had seen it all, but in this meeting I learned another method to avoid answering a direct question. This skillful administrator spoke randomly and provided various facts and complimented the questioner and the university on our skills and expertise. He waxed lyrical on our international standing on such subjects and paid numerous compliments interspersed with unrelated facts. Without exaggeration he gave a 10 minute monologue and made absolutely no effort to answer the original question. He concluded his soliloquy by posing another question to another member of our team. Someone always anxious to provide an opinion and she instantly and efficiently answered his question, while the group seemed to have left the original issue well behind.

In my note book I wrote something along the lines of; “BS.. No info. more BS… Yawn. Wow this guy is good!!!”

I was impressed, but I doubt I’ll emulate his performance.

BTW, the deal discussed in that meeting did not go through so the above lesson is the only benifit from that meeting.